I went to Tony and Pru`s party on Saturday and had a great time. It brought into focus a question I have been struggling with for the last couple of weeks; to tell the truth or to lie. Initially the question was around my c.v. and how should I tailor it for different types of work. What would I say if asked and should I bring it up? But then, how do you say, I`ve been sacked for gross misconduct?
Well, I`ve been doing some online surveys to earn a bit of cash, I`m not sure if they are worth it yet because of the time it takes, some very low pay, or even worse, prize draw tickets, and I don`t fit a regular demographic group for my age as I`ve got no kids, but its early days and too soon to tell. The first survey I did was around job hunting.... freaky eh....and one of the screens said, tell the truth on your CV, so it really got me thinking. However, when I have asked people about it, no-one admits to having a 100% honest c.v..
Now I have done nothing to be ashamed of, I made one relatively minor mistake, but aside from that I make no apologies- so, why would I lie about it.
With thousands of people losing their jobs over the last few months its going to be hard enough to get a new job, even without this black mark on my record, and that`s the only reason I can see to lie. Truth or lies, pragmatism or principles, I don`t know?
At the party I told everyone who asked what I did for a living, the truth. The over 45`s didn`t ask- they were too busy having a good time. For the under 45`s, sadly, so much of our self image is tied up in our work. Well I know from how people responded to me at the party, that I am more than my job and this situation. So I think I`ll tell the truth and see how it goes.
This morning I was sitting in a coffee shop in town and a woman at the next table was telling her friend that she had been told not to go into work, but to attend a meeting at 5 oclock tonight. She was distraught and just didn`t know what was going on. Very politely I butted in and gave her some advice, take a friend or union rep with you, ask if you have been suspended, if so ask for the notice of suspension in writing. This is the 3rd person I have met in as many weeks going through this and being treated shabbily by their employer. What`s going on? Is this just a cheap way for employers to shed staff, are they banking on the fact that most people don`t belong to a union and are unaware of their rights?
I`ve been given a date for my appeal and will need to prep for that, but really, jobhunting is my priority now.
Monday, 27 October 2008
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Don`t be ashamed, talk about it
Talk to people, let them know whats going on. You will be amazed at how many people have been through this. Whether or not you did anything wrong does not matter to your friends, they know you, love you and will help and support you through this.
They will know other people who may well come forward with advice and help or just with an offer to talk to you. These people are diamonds... someone who has been through the same thing? Oh my God... they can understand how i`m feeling.
I feel that I don`t want to bother people, and don`t want to spend that time boring them to death, and of course talking about it means thinking about it which leads to panicky feelings or doom and gloom, but last night I went out and talked to some people I didn`t know and didn`t mention it, I felt almost normal, like an ordinary member of society.
With the credit crunch there are lots of people losing their jobs suddenly, someone was talking about survivor guilt last night as his company had just made lots of people redundant.
IF you can`t talk about it, write it down, on paper, on a computer, just get it out of your head and on to the page. It helps and you can probably use it as part of your defence.
I feel great urges to hide away, I had to gird my loins to go out for a pint of milk and thats not like me, I am normally quite sociable. This situation has struck at the heart of my self image, so much of it is tied up with my job, who I am,what I do... but I know that I am much more too.
Be ready for the tears, my sister said that I should tell my Dad and I just collapsed, I feel that i have let him down and that he would be terribly ashamed of me. My sister disagrees as my Dad walked the same shitty racist streets as me 40 years ago before finally returning to Nigeria. She is probably right, and he will understand, and he will pray for me, but he`s an old man in poor health living far away and I am out of the habit of turning to him for help. I will probably tell him when I have some more positive news to go with it, chicken you see.
On a metaphysical note I am having a period the like of which I have not seen since before I had my fibroids removed. Is this a cleansing healing thing? my body sloughing off the crap of the last three months from the centre of my being?
I feel incredibly tired, this situation has been going on for 3 months so I suppose its not surprising, the immobilizer on the car won`t work because its been raining and the microwave has conked out. I had 2 beers last night and feel a bit depressed today, I`m finding alcohol makes me depressed. I want to feel good, but its an uphill struggle at the moment.
My friend who I talk to online has gone back to the states and has no access to a computer and I am missing his daily dose of moaning, silly stories and getting wound up about the state of the nation. Hope he is OK. I haven`t looked for a job for 1 day, felt I needed a break, and I have to do something about money. See what I mean, I can be going along fine and then it all goes chicken licken. That`s actually cheered me up because it was only an acorn wasn`t it.
Well on that note I will sign off for today. Sorry yesterdays post didn`t get finished due to technical problems ( I had about 50 windows open at the same time)
xxx
They will know other people who may well come forward with advice and help or just with an offer to talk to you. These people are diamonds... someone who has been through the same thing? Oh my God... they can understand how i`m feeling.
I feel that I don`t want to bother people, and don`t want to spend that time boring them to death, and of course talking about it means thinking about it which leads to panicky feelings or doom and gloom, but last night I went out and talked to some people I didn`t know and didn`t mention it, I felt almost normal, like an ordinary member of society.
With the credit crunch there are lots of people losing their jobs suddenly, someone was talking about survivor guilt last night as his company had just made lots of people redundant.
IF you can`t talk about it, write it down, on paper, on a computer, just get it out of your head and on to the page. It helps and you can probably use it as part of your defence.
I feel great urges to hide away, I had to gird my loins to go out for a pint of milk and thats not like me, I am normally quite sociable. This situation has struck at the heart of my self image, so much of it is tied up with my job, who I am,what I do... but I know that I am much more too.
Be ready for the tears, my sister said that I should tell my Dad and I just collapsed, I feel that i have let him down and that he would be terribly ashamed of me. My sister disagrees as my Dad walked the same shitty racist streets as me 40 years ago before finally returning to Nigeria. She is probably right, and he will understand, and he will pray for me, but he`s an old man in poor health living far away and I am out of the habit of turning to him for help. I will probably tell him when I have some more positive news to go with it, chicken you see.
On a metaphysical note I am having a period the like of which I have not seen since before I had my fibroids removed. Is this a cleansing healing thing? my body sloughing off the crap of the last three months from the centre of my being?
I feel incredibly tired, this situation has been going on for 3 months so I suppose its not surprising, the immobilizer on the car won`t work because its been raining and the microwave has conked out. I had 2 beers last night and feel a bit depressed today, I`m finding alcohol makes me depressed. I want to feel good, but its an uphill struggle at the moment.
My friend who I talk to online has gone back to the states and has no access to a computer and I am missing his daily dose of moaning, silly stories and getting wound up about the state of the nation. Hope he is OK. I haven`t looked for a job for 1 day, felt I needed a break, and I have to do something about money. See what I mean, I can be going along fine and then it all goes chicken licken. That`s actually cheered me up because it was only an acorn wasn`t it.
Well on that note I will sign off for today. Sorry yesterdays post didn`t get finished due to technical problems ( I had about 50 windows open at the same time)
xxx
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
I got the sack last week
Well the title says it all, I got the sack last week. I have so much to think about and so much to say that I decided to start a blog to record my experiences, ask for help and let others know of any useful help I have had along the way.
First things first.
Suspension, Investigation meetings, Disciplinary hearings, Appeals, Dismissals.
Get some advice
There are lots of places you can get help. CAB`s, your union, Employment lawyers( very expensive) ACAS. You may also find that you are entitled to legal help under your home or vehicle insurance, its worth a try. Consumer Action Group and Moneysavingexpert forums are well worth a visit. Register with them and post a message, there are lots of people out there who will respond with great advice
There are probably a lot more out there, let me know of any you found useful as I`m still going through this and could use the help.
The more informed you are about your rights the more able you are to deal with the situation.
Don`t be afraid
I know I felt panic stricken, I couldn`t sleep and still have trouble doing so. I didn`t know why I was suspended for 6 weeks, the stress was horrendous. You will feel awful and manifest all kinds of physical and psychological behaviours that are just not you. This is normal.
Go and see your doctor and tell them whats happening and how you feel. I reached a point when everytime I got a letter from my employer I vomited, It would all go round and round in my head and i would throw up. I lost about a stone in weight( not totally a bad thing) and had pains in my chest.
First things first.
Suspension, Investigation meetings, Disciplinary hearings, Appeals, Dismissals.
Get some advice
There are lots of places you can get help. CAB`s, your union, Employment lawyers( very expensive) ACAS. You may also find that you are entitled to legal help under your home or vehicle insurance, its worth a try. Consumer Action Group
There are probably a lot more out there, let me know of any you found useful as I`m still going through this and could use the help.
The more informed you are about your rights the more able you are to deal with the situation.
Don`t be afraid
I know I felt panic stricken, I couldn`t sleep and still have trouble doing so. I didn`t know why I was suspended for 6 weeks, the stress was horrendous. You will feel awful and manifest all kinds of physical and psychological behaviours that are just not you. This is normal.
Go and see your doctor and tell them whats happening and how you feel. I reached a point when everytime I got a letter from my employer I vomited, It would all go round and round in my head and i would throw up. I lost about a stone in weight( not totally a bad thing) and had pains in my chest.
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